Paranoia

One of the little things that sneaks up on us is dad’s paranoia. He has always been a very giving person and kind to everyone. He began to mention little things that people were saying that bothered him or that were being done behind his back. We immediately knew that this was part of the disease. His largest paranoia has to do with the farm. He has come to believe that people are trying to take the farm away from him. His whole identity seems to be tied into the farm. My mom called one day last week and told me that dad was very upset. He had cried and told her that he needed to see me. He said that I needed to come whenever I could because he needed to talk with me about protecting the farm. At the time, it was late afternoon and he had gone to bed because he was so upset. I told mom that I would come either on the weekend or the first of the week. I also told her not to mention the incident again, as he would most likely forget it for a while.
We made the short trip on Monday and arrived right before lunch. We always take them out to lunch as they don’t have the mobility that they used to and don’t eat out as often. Dad was glad to see us and in a jovial mood! He doesn’t have the same filter that he had before all of this started. Growing up and even in recent years, I never heard dad say anything inappropriate. Never a cuss word. Now, little things slip out. When he is in a really good mood like he was on Monday his jokes are a little more hurtful or sometimes at someone else’s expense, not in the best taste. So, he greeted us with a big smile of his face and talked up a storm. My husband is great with my parents. He has so much patience with my dad and he talks right back to my mom. We went out to eat and it is like taking a little child with us. Dad points out all of the littlest things and takes delight in them. When we got back to their house after lunch, dad immediately asked Don to ride down in the field with him. As I have said before it is a ritual with him. On the way home later, Don said that dad did mention the fact that the farm had to be protected and that people were trying to take it away from him, but he never mentioned it in front of me. So, of course, I did not bring it up. Whether he remembers that he asked for me, I doubt it. I expect to see the paranoia grow, as I have heard that it is one of the prevalent symptoms. It is a hard one to watch. I think that the forgetfulness and the memory loss at this point is much easier to see than the actual personality changes. I know that I am losing the person that I have always known and I would give anything to stop that.

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One thought on “Paranoia

  1. dementedgirl

    Paranoia is one of the most hurtful aspects of this illness – you try so hard to help, but end up being accused of all sorts. Just remember – it’s not them but the illness speaking…

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    Reply

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